Ugh.

It's been way too hot lately and on top of that I've been sick... Not fun. So for the past few days I've been hiding in my room... Thank God for basement bedrooms! (Which I finally have all to myself) Twenty years old and I've got my own room for the first time. Kind of weird.

It's kind of late right now but I haven't been able to sleep, even in the basement at midnight it's still too hot. So I've been watching videos on Youtube... 

My sister showed me this video and I like it a lot. :P

Normally I'm not the type for pop teen girl music but there's just something about this...

I also really love the Hillywood show. I wouldn't really recommend all of it but they do some great parodies. Especially their first Twilight parody and their Hunger Games one as well.

I've never seen the Hunger Games and I have no desire to but my brother has and he said that she did this almost too well.

In some ways I wish I could be more like Hillary from the Hillywood Show. She's so confident and smooth. I've never been that way. The last time I went up on stage to sing I failed pretty badly. I can know the song like the back of my hand but as soon as I get up in front of people my body betrays me. I start shaking and I forget the words and my voice cracks.... I can't even imagine dancing. :P That would be a million times worse. I'd look like an idiot dancing like that.

Oh well... I long long ago kissed my dream of becoming an actress goodbye. :P It's very frustrating to have an extrovert mentality with an introverts body. If I were completely one or the other things would be so much simpler.

I wonder how many people are like that. Wanting to get up and do things in front of people, or even just be able to go to a big party and talk to random strangers without getting tongue tied and sounding like a moron. Well, I guess when I put it that way tons of people are probably like that. 

But since I can't be like that, and believe me I've tried many many times, I'm going to give this blog another go. :P Nice thing about the internet is you don't have to talk to people face to face...

I'm going to work on having a more confident voice. Maybe if I do it enough here I'll be able to do it more in real life. Problem is... If I start acting confident and assertive now people will think there's something wrong with me. They've known me for about 8-9 years now. 

What do you think? Have you tried to change your image?